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精品短信笑话九则,幽默中还有点冷

南风格言网 http://www.xiangruiwuye.cn 2018-11-05 06:43 出处:网络 编辑:







1、女友几时。有?上网聊qq。不知群里mm,可有男朋友? 我欲删群而去,又。恐错失良机,此事好难办。百度帮不上,google亦难言。夜已深,孤枕难眠,何时才能把梦圆。不管高矮胖瘦,不论黑白美丑,是女就不嫌。但愿。时不久,男女共缠绵。




2、用户:俺家机顶盒坏了。

客服:先生,请问机顶盒出现什么问题了?

用户:现在电视至少有五六个台都放《武林外传》,还有三个台演《西游记》,那么多台放一样的节目,绝对是机顶盒坏了。

客服:·#¥#%#%¥……




3、新年会餐,有几张桌子是有姓名牌的,其余的随便坐。一女的说:“你去那边。坐啊,那里有你的牌位。”我崩溃……




4、上课时一个男生趴桌上呼呼大睡,老师发现了淡定的说:同桌关心一下。女同桌脱下了自己的外套披在了睡觉男生的身上。。。




5、上飞。机后发现旁边坐一美女,我想搭讪搭讪吧,我脱口问道,你在哪儿下?




6、一个书生,一个将军,一个富翁,一个乞丐,四人分别做了句诗,;书生:大雪纷纷落地,将军:是我皇家福气。富翁,下它三日何妨,乞丐:放你妈的狗屁。




7、公司老板给业务员一个艰巨的使命,让他去开发一家知名的大公司,但时间限定2周,人人都认为这是个不可能完成的的任务.2周后,老板找到业务员,问:任务完成得如何?你可要知道完不成任务的严重后果!业务员说:我知道。,非常抱歉,我没有说服客户购买我们的产品.老板大怒,业务员接着说:不过我已经成功地说服这家公司邀请我加盟了!




8、老虎与。豹子争论谁厉害,老虎:“我是森林。之王!”豹子:“我的速度举世无双!”猫看见了,不屑地笑道:“你们厉害啥?!还不是都属于猫科。”


1 and when his girlfriend? The qq chat online. Somehow, there can be mm of boyfriend? I would rather go to delete, and fea。r of lost opportunities, this good difficult. Baidu help, Google also unaccountable. Night already deep, sleepless。 solitude,。 when can dream. Whatever height,。 black and white are importa。nt, it。 is not just women. Hopef。ully, when men and women soon lonely.


2, the user: very bad. STB

Customer: excuse me, sir.? What problem appear STB

User: now on TV sets are put at least five or six, and the TKS in three sets "journey to the w。est", so as to put more programs, it is absolutely STB is broken.

Customer service: · # # # # # % RMB ¥%...




3 HuiCan, New Y。ear, a few tables are name。 badge, the res。t of the sit。 casually. A woman said: "you go there, you sit there the mantle. I crash...




4 and when a boy lie prone o。n the table in class, the teacher found that sleep the light of say: at a con。cern. Female deskmate off his coat on the sleeping b。oy...




5 and on the discovery after a beauty, I sat beside, I appro。ached to pick USES asked, where are you?




6, a scholar, a general, a million。aire, a beggar, four people were doing a poem. Linda: s。now in succession, general: is my real blessing. It is rich, what days, beggar: put your mama's shit.




7 and company boss give salesman an arduous mission, let him to develop a big company, but the time limi。t 2 weeks, everyone thought it was impossible to accomplish the tas。k. After 2 weeks, the。 boss found a salesman, ask: task how? You must know the serio。us consequences of finished t。he task! The salesman say: I know, I。'm very sorry, I d。idn't convince cu。stomers to buy our produc。ts. The boss angry, salesman and then say: but。 I have succeeded in persuading the company invited me to join!




8, tiger, leopard, wh。o argue with。 tiger: "I am the king of the jungle!" A leopard: "I speed unmatched!" Cat saw, despise ground say with smile: "you what?! Not bad." belong to the cat,




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